My Most Embarassing Moment or.. where's an exit when you want one!

It's been a lifetime coming, not that I haven't had embarassing moments. There were but it has taken years for me to be able to tell my most embarassing moment. There were all the usual times that you live with that you wish were not burned into your being such as grade school when I was nicknamed, "Poor Pitiful Pearl" after a popular doll of that day. Pearl was very long legged, long scraggly hair and kinda mismatched!! Its hard to be very critical when the nickname fits so well. I did look like a starving child in Euthopia, before they were starving ( long time ago). Or the Band Day in high school where all the band wears that bulky band uniform for spirit and finding out Band Day is "tomorrow". There was the flute solo that I played that was actually a "rest" for everyone else in the band. OHH and much later after I had become a mom, taking my child to school because he missed the bus, only he didn't miss the bus. School was out on that day. That in itself was bad but I chewed that baby boy out for missing the bus and since I had to get up and out to drive him to school I went to the grocery store. It was noon before I got home and found out my son had been there just hanging out with his teacher who had a work day that day!!! :) Sorry, Chris!

The moments that we find embarassing as adults are hopefully looked upon in a different light. Or should I say, hopefully overlooked.

It is difficult even now to relate this moment. Some things become funny after time passes and maybe enough time has passed that I can finally air this great humiliation to the world. Maybe some of you have had those moments and will "walk in the light" with me as I brace myself to expose my greatest blunder to the world.

In 1994 my oldest daughter married and moved with her husband to the world of Maine, somewhere in the northern hemisphere. Far enough away that it takes a full day's plane ride to get there. There were so many tears, so many phone calls and finally the dreaded trip to the world of Maine. Its a beautiful place, awesome. So different than the south east Texas coast where we live. I spent an awesome time seeing all the sights, discovering black flies and an accent that sure didn't fit in my Texas slang. Finally it was time to come home. Again with many many tears I made my way on the plane heading back to Texas. The trip from Bangor to Newark was uneventful. The Newark airport is a whole new learning curve for an east Texan but I was in it for the ride. After all, my baby connected us!

We boarded the plane and taxied to the runway and stopped. And waited. And waited. After about 40 minutes the captain said we were going back to the terminal for a medical emergency. Another 30 minutes and we started out again. This time it was raining but since when does a little rain stop a big jet? o.k. o.k. The pilot came on and said we had lost our place in line and because of the rain we were now number twenty three.. that's 23 in line!!!! Lots of groans and moans. It was getting close to 2 hours now just sitting on the tarmack. People were getting crumpy. Finally, the captain said he was going to allow a 15 minute break to get up and move around. They couldn't offer any drinks because they needed to be ready to take off. People filled the aisle to the bathroom.

Background on me. I do not like public bathrooms and avoid them like the plague. I dehydrate myself when I know I'll be out so I won't be compelled to visit those places. Knowing this about myself I sat there quietly while everyone else on the plane trekked down that aisle.

People were seated and strapped in. We waited. The total time on the plane that day was 5 hours and 15 minutes before we took off but I'm getting ahead of myself. After about another hour people were really grumbling. This was awful. We were tired and by now even my dehydrated state was beginning to become more fluid :) I kept thinking even if we took off it was still over 3 hours to get to Houston, an hour on the ground, 45 minutes to Beaumont and 30 to my home. Plus, I knew by this time that there was no way I would make my connecting flight to Houston so I was facing a public bathroom whether I wanted it or not.

The captain said we could have a break and again that aisle filled up but I had no choice. I squeezed my way in line and waited. The bathrooms were set at the back of the plane diagonally facing the aisle. FINALLY, my turn. Sitting down to take my "break" I started fluffing up my hair. It was somewhat long and had flattened sitting against the plane seatback. Somewhere in that process I looked through my hair at the floor and what should have been the door but was instead a pair of sneakers, little girls sneakers. Next to her sneakers were HIS sneakers and behind HIS sneakers were HER heels... etc etc etc....... Still looking through my hair, my brain started saying YOU DIDN"T SHUT THE DOOR, STUPID!! I'm not sure how long it took my brain to engage my body to move but there was a debate going on between brain and muscles about what my next move should be and how soon that next move should happen but it is and never will be quick enough to remove that view from my brain. I was sitting on a PUBLIC TOILET in front of a whole line of people !!!!!!!!!!

What would you do? Would you say something? Would you scream? Would you jump up??? heaven help, no... What would you do????? I waved and smiled. There was no sympathic smile back at me just blank stares like just hurry up crazy lady!!! I shut the door and tried to think of some way out of that bathroom. There is no way I would fit down that hole, so that was out. The only thing to do was walk back out in front of those people !!!!!!!

That's what I did. I fluffed my hair again but this time moved it to cover more of my face and opened the door. I didn't look anyone in the face and just kept walking. I prayed that the man sitting next to me had not been in that line!!!!!!

To this day I check where the bathrooms are located when I get on the plane. I also make sure the door is LOCKED. It still feels like a mute point, like closing the gate after the cows are out. You can't take it back. Ohhh me.